There’s no use beating around the bush: I’ve been distant, quiet, and almost nonexistent online (unless you follow me on Twitter, of course). But so much has happened in the past three months that I don’t know where to start.

After leaving Cliché Magazine in December, a lot changed. I felt lost most of January without the magazine since it was basically on my mind 24/7 for the past six years. Going from running a publication to not was a relief, but it was also bewildering. There were some days where I didn’t know what exactly to do with myself. In a way, I felt like I had lost a piece of my identity. I struggled quietly for most of January trying to figure out who I was without it.

I was applying for jobs and writing freelance, but ultimately, I felt like something was missing. Oddly, I felt like I was in limbo, not knowing what direction I was going in and what exactly would come next for me. During this time, I did the very Pisces thing to do: I hid away from the world and tried my best to figure things out as quietly as possible, alone.

Then February came and I had two minor, necessary surgeries. Without going into details, since it’s still not an easy thing for me to talk about, they were procedures that needed to happen as soon as possible, before work started to pick up again for me. I was out of commission for a few days because of the surgeries. Then, immediately afterward, I got really sick with something just shy of the flu and was ill for another week on top of that. I was constantly sore, constantly uncomfortable, constantly feeling sorry for myself, for weeks. But there was a silver lining in all of this: my callback from Barneys New York.

I had applied for a quite a few jobs in January, but the one job I was the most hopeful for was the Copywriter position at Barneys—mostly because it felt more like a promising career than just a regular job. Not only did it seem like such a friendly, trendy place to work, but it was also something much different than running a magazine. I wanted—no, needed—a change from the competitive field of journalism but wanted to stick to fashion and beauty, two things I enjoy and love writing and reading about.

In that case, Barneys was the perfect balance. I could still work in the world of fashion and shopping, but instead of searching for news stories, I’d be writing about all the luxurious products before they go up on the website. I love to shop, I love a lot of the designers, and I love marketing and writing. It all sounded absolutely perfect for me.

So you can only imagine how thrilled I was the other day when I was offered the position, which I accepted in a heartbeat.

After three long months of doubting myself, searching for my next big thing, and trying to get my health sorted, it finally seems like things are starting to look up for me, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

My surgeries went well and I’ll be starting a new regime for my health very soon.

Starting next week, I’ll be working at the Barneys New York studio, where I can learn, grow, and be surrounded by clothes and shoes and bags, as well as the people who love them as much as I do.

And perhaps the best news of all: winter is almost over. Spring is almost here.

Author

Megan Portorreal is a Copywriter at Barneys New York by day. By night, she's a book-reading, dungeon-crawling video gamer. This blog is a place where she shares her favorite things and her personal writing.

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