The last time I wrote, I was staring down the barrel that is known as The New Year. January—it’s a time for optimism or depression, I always say. It’s so easy to look at the new year with bright wide eyes and enthusiasm. It’s a chance to start over and focus on bettering yourself.

However, it’s equally just as easy to dig yourself into a slump, to hibernate there during the snowy months. Sometimes you go so far down that it’s too difficult to climb back out without some help.

Thankfully, I had some help. Though I dug a tunnel and hid there for a while, I wasn’t alone.

Sometimes while you are healing, all you need is someone who is willing to go down there with you. If things are going well for them or they aren’t, it’s reassuring to have someone kind in your life who tries to comfort you. Someone who roots for you to be better and tries to help you along the way.

That tunnel I dug was like an inn in a Japanese role-playing game. After spending the night there (or technically many, many nights), I would emerge feeling restored, perfectly healthy, full HP.

But in life, just as in games, there are many battles, and I’d always have to come back again.

A New Project

Personally, I can’t believe it’s nearly July. Now that we’re in summer, I’ve finally started to feel like myself again. Not my old self, but an enlightened version of me. At the time I’m writing this, I feel creative but hesitant, optimistic but weary. I started a new project on Medium called Thursday to inspire me and others to write more about our lives. There are so many things I’m looking forward to in the second half of this year; I don’t know how I’m going to do them all. I’m trying to focus on those things.

I wish there was an extra day in the week I could dedicate to just doing the things I love. Since there isn’t, I know I need to prioritize my time more effectively. I want to focus more on the things that make me happy instead of stewing in the things that make me sad.

Heart to Heart

For many months, I’ve read and reread Cleo Wade’s book Heart Talk. Now the pages and cover are all frayed, dog-eared, and streaked with stray pen marks. It has helped me so much that I read it again and again. One read wasn’t enough. I submerged myself in the grueling process of reprogramming my brain. In order to get things to stick, you have to repeat them to yourself again and again.

For anyone else who is trying to work on themselves as well, I highly recommend.

Here’s to finally seeing the sun again.

Author

Megan Portorreal is a professional writer, editor, and creative in the New York City area. In her spare time, she enjoys reading books, writing about her life, and playing video games.

1 Comment

  1. Alan Mitnick Reply

    Excellent essay, Megan. Your depth and honesty and ability to reflect and communicate it so well comes as no surprise, of course! 🙏🏻🌻-Alan

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